DS9 Episode 2.03: The Siege

In which everyone runs around having adventures in civvies, and Julian stoops to a ‘your mother’ joke.

Memory Alpha says: Sisko tries to prevent the Circle from taking the station; Kira and Dax take proof that the Cardassians are the real force that is arming the Circle to the Bajoran government. (Part 3 of 3) (Please click the Memory Alpha link for detailed information.)

My Review
I think I may need more tea – but not TEA tea this time, more of a herbal/floral tisane.

(clinking sounds)

There we go, a nice pot of chamomile and lavender.

And now, the thrilling conclusion! I mean, the Majel voice just says ‘And now, the conclusion,’ but I feel ‘thrilling’ is implied.

  • I think if I were trying to explain Starfleet to an alien culture that hadn’t encountered them before, I would have to mention ‘The women have magnificent hairstyles.’ Because that is the main thing I’m getting out of this scene in Ops. There’s a young lady with a pompadour that a Japanese gangster would envy. There are two things Starfleet people really, really care about: the Prime Directive and updos.
  • And of course nobody wants to evacuate, because they’re all such super people! And some of them are banging Bajorans, and would like to continue to do so.
  • Why are the credits still spelling Bareil’s name Bariel?
  • Well, Rom, you were prepared to sacrifice Quark’s life back in ‘The Nagus,’ so I don’t think you have a leg to stand on here.
  • Awww, a Noh-Jay scene. The poor little evacuees are going to different places! Nog’s dialogue implies that he is attending Keiko’s school again.
  • NO STUPID FRENCH THING CAN SEPARATE THESE BFFS. Also, somewhere, Picard just poked Data in the ribs and said ‘SEE, it’s not an OBSCURE language.’
  • I always like the fact that Star Trek tends to provide its own ship names, whether romances like Imzadi or friendships like Noh-Jay. It means we have fewer awkward-sounding portmanteau ship names (like, er, Troiker?). On the other hand, I’m partial to ‘O’Bashir’ myself.
  • OH MY GOODNESS MOLLY’S EVACUATION HAIRSTYLE IS DARLING. There are coiled braids and some dangly beads and how did Miles and Keiko manage to make the cutest child in the galaxy?
  • Here I’m torn between sympathising with Keiko and feeling cross with her. I completely understand not wanting to have to go away and leave O’Brien behind, not knowing what may happen to him. That just comes from love. On the other hand, not caring if the Cardies take over the Gamma Quadrant… hill of beans, Keiko, do you know what I’m saying? Not to mention, if you marry a person in Starfleet, and spend the first few years of your married life on a ship as insane-shit-prone as the Enterprise, shouldn’t these issues have been somewhat resolved between you by now? He’s a heroic dude. He’s going to do dangerous things for the greater good.
  • the greater good
  • O’Brien calling Molly ‘baby’ is sweet.
  • Kira and Jadzia are going to go off and swashbuckle together! INTREPID LADIES’ ADVENTURE TIME!
  • Huh, Tobin Dax sounds like Geordi LaForge.
  • LIKE FRIGHTENED CARDASSIAN VOLES. It was interesting how he paused between the words ‘Cardassian’ and ‘voles,’ as if ‘voles’ weren’t the first thing he was going to say, but he thought better of it.
  • Even Morn is leaving! You know it’s over.
  • Poor Jake, having to evacuate all on his own. At least Molly’s got her mum.
  • ROM HAS MADE OFF WITH A DABO GIRL. I retcon that it was Leeta.
  • Here come the men in grey!
  • Guys, you are invading a mall.
  • TIME TO PLAY CAT AND MOUSE. Or cat and Cardassian vole, given where the Feds are hiding.
  • I really, really enjoyed Jadzia’s reaction to the ‘spider or a dog,’ particularly given what a corny puppet they used for it. I also like her purple top – I get the impression, given the party dress we see later on, and her swimming togs in the lunatic Risa episode, that purple is her favourite colour. Nice boots, too!
  • That thing does not look airtight. OFF THE INTREPID LADIES GO.
  • I like the use of camera movement to reveal where Winn is.
  • Poor Jadzia; it’s not easy to be a tall girl in the back seat of an X-wing.
  • Of course they’re still here – look, the commander didn’t take his baseball!
  • Combat rations! Mmm!
  • Hey, I note that O’Brien is now calling Julian Julian. Maybe it’s the camaraderie of the situation. The idea of Student Julian inventing a nutritionally complete candy-bar is Wonkariffic. The problem was, people kept turning into blueberries…
  • Nice powder-blue turtleneck, by the way, Julian.
  • I wonder where Garak was while this went down. Perhaps he just evacuated with everyone else. Perhaps he had his own little hiding place that he didn’t tell anyone about (hopefully not too claustrophobic – but then, he was high on endorphins most of the time at this stage, wasn’t he?), and just kept an eye on things, not acting because he didn’t have to.
  • And Julian’s balls grew three sizes that day. Isn’t it nice that Sisko believed in him to be able to handle that, although O’Brien didn’t yet?
  • Kira is a badass, did I mention? I love and admire her, did I mention?
  • ‘Great! Seat-of-the-pants technology.’ I love you Sarcastic Jadzia.
  • There are smoke bombs and action and things, and O’Brien and Li are running around and stuff.  Odo turned into a tripwire! That was neat!
  • Kira and Jadzia have a dogfight and it is super! The ship they shoot down crashes in California somewhere.
  • Man that’s a shitty fire extinguisher. Brace for impact!
  • One of the Ferengi’s holosuites is in use! Even at a time like this, people want porn.
  • Clever plan! And the dreaded Starfleet combat rations!
  • ‘Nothing of consequence.’ So this guy is crooked – and we were primed for it by his smug and arrogant manner.
  • Poor banged-up Kira! But Fierce Jadzia will not leave her in the jungle. She’s nice that way. They hide in the underbrush and watch people walk by in a shot that reminds me of that weird one from Lost with the urchins and the teddy-bear.
  • ‘If they didn’t make it, we’re all fighting for a lost cause here.’ For a fraction of a second, I thought O’Brien was saying ‘If they didn’t make it, we’re all fucked.’ And it was awesome.
  • Is Kira waking up in the monastery meant to evoke Frodo waking up in Rivendell, or am I just a big dork?
  • So they ‘mended’ her broken hip without removing or mending her burnt, torn uniform?
  • ‘I’m thinking of keeping it.’ I love your nose humour Jadzia.
  • I am all for a ‘your mother’ joke, but Julian kind of messes it up with the ‘day you were born’ part. He’s younger than Quark. It doesn’t work. But evidently Julian is thoroughly enjoying this opportunity – it’s the heroic adventure he dreamed of and came here for. I wonder whether the ‘never make fun of a Ferengi’s mother’ is a real Rule of Acquisition, or one that Quark makes up because he has an embarrassing mother and is particularly sensitive about it?
  • Awww, Jadzia took off her Sydney Opera House hat! She was rocking that thing.
  • I’ll say this for Winn, I don’t believe she’d be a party to a plan that involved Cardie infiltration. I mean she was pretty upset when she found out a Cardie infiltrated HER COOCH.
  • God I’m crude.
  • And Li gets written out with a heroic death, mostly because they didn’t want him to become a recurring character because the actor was expensive. This is why there’s Shakaar later on. And Shakaar is crap. Presumably cheap crap.
  • I can’t really remember anyone mentioning Li Nalas again, which is a shame – it would be nice if he were used as a rallying cry, a ‘FOR ASLAN’ type of thing
  • probably not
  • and they lived happily ever after until next time.

I thoroughly enjoyed that! It was action-packed and people I like got to be cool as heck. Not that I really took in much of the Bajoran politics, but psh, Bajoran politics!

Next time, I’ll return to TNG for – oh my god! It’s ‘Elementary, My Dear Data’!



2 Responses to “DS9 Episode 2.03: The Siege”

  1. Curuchamion Says:

    * “There are two things Starfleet people really, really care about: the Prime Directive and updos.” – INDEED. My sister knows things about US Air Force hair regulations, and we were discussing what Starfleet hair regs must be like, the other day? And all we could come up with is “it must be two words: Look Gorgeous.” Because they obviously don’t have bulk limitations or ANYTHING.

    * “Guys, you are invading a mall.” – Isn’t it awesome? That’s one of the things I love most about DS9 (yes, there are a lot of them, lol): that it’s so very much Not A Spaceship, that it’s set more in something resembling a real world than any other Trek and you can have all these different settings and cultures and storylines collide in the same show without having to have a Planet Of The Malls or anything. :DDDD *hearts*

    (Now I’m picturing Ferenginar as a Planet Of Malls. Hee!)

    * “psh, Bajoran politics!” – IAWTC. There are very few things in the Trekverse (or possibly in skiffy-at-large) more boring than Bajoran politics.

    • picardigan Says:

      However, it would be hard to say that anyone has ever truly lived up to the standard set by Yeoman Janice Rand. Rand’s hair is the standard against which all other Starfleet Updos are judged and found, if only ever so slightly, lacking.

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